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Hard at Work (drunk poem)I hired a man from the yellow pages
to cut my lawn, as I've simply no time
to do it myself. But he came over
dressed as a policeman, and told me
I had been bad. Oh my, and then...
...nevermind. No more shall I call
Men - Hard at Work, again.

Thank god my lawn is gated;
the neighbors, what would they think?
To a believer.Fancy me a fool?
Some sort of ass or mule?
You've got to be kidding,
when you say an invisible force will do its bidding.
In the winter you give children toys;
but your clergy bugger little boys.
But oh wait there's more,
funny ones, they bang their heads against the floor.
Blow up buildings for something they read in a book,
wonder how cunning was the writer,
bloody clever crook.

They're all the same,
innocent people they blame.
Aren't you a bit too old,
to believe the madness you are told?
This weird obsession,
of believing in one.
Look at the Greeks,
they had many- now that was fun.

Every time they open their mouth,
even more nonsense th
1Z Listu do Zjednoczonych Krain.
"[...] Pokonaliśmy Niszczyciela dzięki Poświęconej. Osiem krain kiedyś oddzielnych teraz się zjednoczyły. Woda, Morze, Światła, Mrok, Ogień, Wiatr, Czas no i epicentrum Wiara. Cykl ten zakończył się ze śmiercią Adhary Poświęconej i Sana z Ahmalem którzy  byli Niszczycielami. To daje nam nowy cykl. Cykl Talizmanu Mocy. [...]"
  Plac ćwiczebny Akademii Jeźdźców Smoków był prawie pusty. Na środku areny stała dziewczyna miała zamknięte oczy. Jej czarne włosy z grana
COLLAB POEM 3I BE ZORA LOLOL@All: It's raining, oh it is indeed
You@All: MY LOVELY STEED,
TACOSAUCE THE GREAT@All: I think i am in great need
You@All: OF HORSE FEED
I BE ZORA LOLOL@All: On seeds
I BE ZORA LOLOL@All: That bleed
TACOSAUCE THE GREAT@All: I am filled with need
TACOSAUCE THE GREAT@All: of feed
TACOSAUCE THE GREAT@All: and seeds
I BE ZORA LOLOL@All: On your bleed
TACOSAUCE THE GREAT@All: and your indeed
TACOSAUCE THE GREAT@All: full of feed
You@All: and weeds
TACOSAUCE THE GREAT@All: and bead
I BE ZORA LOLOL@All: With greed
TACOSAUCE THE GREAT@All: i need
You@All: to plead
TACOSAUCE THE GREAT@All: with greed
I BE ZORA LOLOL@All: That we'd
You@A
Goodnight, CthulhuSing a song of madness,
An Old One never dies.
Four and twenty Shoggoths
Baked in a pie.

When the pie burst open,
The guests began to scream.
Wasn't that a wicked dish,
To complete Dagon's scheme?

Lord Cthulhu sleeps in R'leyh,
And sees us in our dreams;
Nyarlathotep babbles in the dark,
And feeds upon our screams.

The cliff-ghasts now are flying free,
Hunting for fresh meat;
And if they catch you dreaming,
Your doom will be complete.
Pome to MortBlurble and blargle!
The fungle's like marble...
The flustig is blowing,
And such is the way,
Of stating your case,
When reason holds sway...
It's not that I'm jaznick,
Or terribly garblous...
Or wanting a chat,
or something quite farblous....
So whenever your fungle
is open to air,
and your blushniks are blushing...
Without any fears...
A short danggly missive,
portraying, your wishes...
will suffice to inform me,
(oh it's just so delicious!)
Of when you're on, netwise..
so both of us, (gleebly)
can verily cheerably,
greet appositely,
and nothing unsightly
shall mar the endeavour
when gaily, together,
We'll mingle our rhymes....
Big word, Little shinxI’m in the dark, just a little shinx.
These big dogs keep talking the big bark, but I’ll show em when the rain comes.
This little kitty can do more than shine in the night,
I’ll paint these gym walls with red your fright.
Gold fur and a heart of black, my trainer stabbed me in the back.
Broken and bloody I won’t give up till she’s crying over my dead body.
As you look into my eyes the last thing you’ll see is the most hurt part of me.
I’ll protect my innocence behind this fiery bolt,
Rock smash, rock tomb, I already know it’s my doom.
Take my swagger like a thief; I’ll double team th
The reason that students must learn history"Sir! Why should I learn history?"

I gave him a clout with my knuckles.

"Oh! Why are you hitting my head?"

Again, I gave him a clout with my knuckles.

"Shit! Why are you hitting my head? Why should I learn history?"

The student protests again. I put out this splendid answer.

"If you did not remember that you hit, When I hit you again, Could you avoid?"
PeoplePeople jump, dance, and fly.
They can be happy or they can cry.

They have pets like dogs and cats,
And dress them up in funny hats.

They learn and think,
And eat and drink.

At night they make theaters ring,
When they act, dance, and sing.

Then they go home and sleep,
By counting many little sheep.
OnCe UpOn A mOtHeRfUcKiN tImE OnCe UpOn A mOtHeRfUcKiN tImE tHeRe WaS a LiTtLe MoThErFuCkEr.

ThAt GrEw Up SuRrOuNdEd By OtHeR lItTlE mOtHeRfUcKeRs.

tHeSe OtHeR lItTlE mOtHeRfUcKeRs WeNt OuTsIdE tO pLaY a KiCkAsS mOtHeRfUcKiN gAmE.

tHe MoThErFuCkErS fOuNd A bUnCh Of SqUaRe ShApEd MoThErFuCkIn MiRaClEs.

ThAn EvErY mOtHeRfUcKeR dIeD bEcAuSe ThE mIrAcLeS wErE tOo MoThErFuCkIn AmAzInG.

tHe EnD.

hOnK :0)
Off TopicIt all started when I was 13 years,
7 months, 2 weeks,
4 days, 6 hours,
12 minutes & 14 seconds old.

Wait, now that I think about it,
now it would be 15 seconds.
16. 17. 18. 19.
20. 21. 22. 24.
Crap, forgot 23.

Shoot,
Where was I? I lost track...
I think I was at 20-something...
Wait, wait, wait, hang on.
What story was I telling again?
Panty and Stocking                                                          Oh pitiful shadow lost in the darkness,
                                        Oh evil spirit born of those drifting between Heaven and Earth,
                             May the thunderous power from the garments of these holy, delicate maidens,
                                    Strike down upon you with great vengeance and furious anger,
                            Shattering  your lowness and impurity and returning it from whe
LampOnly the porcelain shards lying around the shade
Offered that this was more than just
A typical garbage day. The workers were too absorbed
In their regrets and shames to study the interesting aspects
Of the disposal,
And the children went back to their ball game.
So the event passed and history’s library listed it as
“Nonexistent,” but life was wrong: the lamp
Was chauffeured across town, its final destination the dump,
Where it sat beside a rotting banana peel and gleamed in the sunlight.

“That pleasant shiny thing,” the birds cawed,
Never thinking that their well-know distraction
Was an elegant ancient covered
Don't you dareRoses are red
I really don't care
Lay a finger on my love
And you'll go flying through the air
Let's be friendsWhen it’s fall and all leaves fall,
Twisted trees stand bare and tall.
The truth I’m gonna tell you, see,
Is just as bare as such a tree.

People meet, and dine, and drink,
They have fun and glasses clink.
But you see, I kinda think
Our novel’s got no ink.

You look hot, you really do,
You can get a prince, or two;
You look smart like a pop star
All guys watch you from afar.

But you know that yoü and I,
We’re the ground and the sky -
We can talk, but look, in fact,
There’s no point of contact.

Maybe we just need some time,
And it won’t be such a crime
If we, well, at least so far,
Be just friends, li
Browse More Like This

More from ~TheMrSir

SleepI stood in the midst of destruction, but we had been victorious.
They had come unannounced, seeping out through the forest like a plague.
This land... it used to be serene. But with the rain and the bloodshed, the ground had turned to mud and each step resounded loudly as the soggy soil fought to keep your feet down.
It smelt strange, it didn't smell of death. The smell was that of morning fog.
The white steeds had been returned to their pen, and the spears stood stacked against the wall.
Burning heaps of slain, both friend and foe, clad the shore. But something was still wrong. As the thundering waves beat the rocks where the tower
Turning Left.Many horror stories take place in the dark, in the pitch black night or in a remote location. It's the element of no escape, the fear is the fear of the unknown.
But my story takes place in bright daylight, a happy day for many, a twisted turn of event for others. For me, it was a new beginning...

Left

The sun had just risen and the first warm rays of light seeped through the window, lighting up the rarely seen kitchen table.
To the day in honor the house was cleaned and perfected to every detail, the lawn had been mowed, the bushes cut and the small pond cleaned out of algae.
Newly awake, I grabbed a bowl, put it on the table, and co
Makt och StyrkaEra luster förstärker era begär.
Söker trygghet, bakom siktet på ett gevär.

Alltid något att skygga ifrån.
Alltid något att gömma sig för.

Lögner och tillit går hand i hand.
I detta avgränsade, rädda land.

Mörkrädda hjältar i vardgasuniform.
Spikar igen sina fönster för minsta lilla storm.

Tror sig makt och eivg ära i livet.
Men allt är tomt och taget för givet.

Era stilla drömmar förstör era liv.
Undangöms i en skugga av vardagsdriv.

Vojne stackars människa med framtid.
Glömmer allt som

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Crackers and cream cheese.

:iconthemrsir:

Sitting here,
dipping crackers in cream cheese.
"Hey waiter, another cup of tea, please"
Quite solemn and blue,
why? Oh god... I haven't a clue.

It seems life snuck up on me again.
Just some thoughts etching in my brain.

Just as well, I was bored.
Better think of the future,
rather than the fact that I scored.

One would think it mattered.

I ran out of crackers,
but I still got cheese.
A horrible end to a meal, really.
And where's my tea?!

22

2 3 1
:iconthemrsir:

Crackers and cream cheese.by ~TheMrSir

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:icondonotuseplz::iconmyartplz:

Well... everything with today sucked balls, but I'm to tired to be sad about it, so I just made something fun.

I think I should keep writing fun things and satire. I really like it...
Brightly blue "poem"
©2012-2013 ~TheMrSir
Category: Literature / Poetry / Humor / Free Verse

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Submitted on
September 16, 2012
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:icongilotyna815:
~gilotyna815 Sep 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Aiming for the Broadway I see :iconimhappyplz:
Reply
:iconthemrsir:
~TheMrSir Sep 17, 2012  Professional Writer
XD Maybe one day... *sighs* maybe one day.
Reply
:icongilotyna815:
~gilotyna815 Sep 17, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:music: Oneee daaay... maaaybe one daaay... :music:
Reply
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